August 29, 2003
MTV Video Music Awards 2003
I'm sure you have seen pictures of the shock-o-rama at the VMA's, if not:
Quick, without cheating, which one is David Spade?
(0) comments
You Got Your Monkeys in My Half-Life
Every once in a while two things meet in a glorious harmonious embrace.
Geniuses have combined the hijinks of monkeys, and the Half-Life FPS engine to create a new beast all together. Two great tastes that taste great together. Well, not the actual flavor of the Half-Life CDs and monkeys, (TRUST me on this one.), but figuratively.
(0) comments
August 28, 2003
And The Winner Is...
Congratulations Stasi on your blue ribbon in the California State Fair pear and almonds baking contest. I'm so proud of you. She also has two more competitions, one Saturday, and one Sunday. I predict a sweep.
(0) comments
Everyone's a Critic II : The Reckoning
Sometimes even nobody's a critic. If you are making such pap that no one reviews your movie well, follow Sony's suit. Make up a fictional critic who gives all your movies glowing reviews. That is so much easier than trying to make good movies.
(0) comments
August 27, 2003
Say it ain't so!
(0) comments
For those who didn't see the B52's last night
Neener-neener-neener!
Oh ya, you missed the fireworks display from the monorail as well.
(0) comments
Have you ever noticed...
...The inside of UFOs always smell like urine?
(0) comments
August 26, 2003
Legal question
What is the statute of limitations on a refill at a fast food restaurant?
(0) comments
Hate to burst your bubble, but...
100 years from now you will be dead, and so will be anyone who knew you personally. No one will remember you. Let's use CHARLES W. FAIRBANKS as an example. Who, you ask. He was Vice President of the United States one hundred years ago. Do you think you did something as memorable as being Vice President of the United States? His life is usually half a sentence under someone else’s biography.
(0) comments
Making the world more Seussilke one building at a time
Frank Ghery's creations make
Frank Lloyd Wright's buildings look as normal as
Wallace Homes. Wonder if he'll redeux our garage.
(0) comments
August 25, 2003
Hellooo!
You do not have to put that rainbow sticker on your PT Cruiser. You drive a PT Cruiser, we already know.
(0) comments
August 22, 2003
Newsflash!
Captions on pictures were made up!
CA Jeremy's world was turned upside down when he realised not everything on the internet can indeed be taken as fact. "It seems as if this group of people mislabled these pictures for fun!" Jeremy was quoted as saying.
(0) comments
Busy Busy Busy
So, I had a request to add a comment section, I did seven times better, and added a comments section under every post. If I post something that you want to comment on, click on comment under the posting that warms your heart and changes your life. Notice that Superman already has a comment, it has the number of comments posted, if you just want to read what other people posted, just click on the comment with a number next to....... I'm explaining this too much, huh?
(0) comments
August 21, 2003
Super, thanks for asking!
(0) comments
August 20, 2003
How is it going?
For as long as I can remember this greeting bothered me, because everyone says it, and it makes no sense. How asks the question in what state or condition is it going. Is what going? Most people answer, "Fine." For the longest time, I have answered with "It's just going.", which gets me funny looks. Are we to asume that "it" refers to life? Then the answer is obvious. Next time someone asks me this I will answer it "As a random string of unrelated events, which may or may not be affected by an unseen supernatural force."
(0) comments
August 19, 2003
He was in a hospital, so they will just sew it back on.
(0) comments
Ahh, sweet sarcasm.
(0) comments
August 18, 2003
Don't Point that thing at me!
People suck. As I was standing in line for coffee this morning, there were two demanding women in front of me. The employee, trying to say courteous was "Mam" this, and "Mam" that. When it was my time to order, the employee said, "Can I help you Mam?" I responded with "Sir." Confused, he said "What?" And one of the ladies answered for me and said "
Don't pay attention to him, he's just a jerk on a power trip." Yes, I'm the kind of jerk on a power trip that does not like my gender confused. Maybe because of my shaved head she thought I was in the military, forcing people to call me sir. If she only had a camera.
(0) comments
August 15, 2003
Everyones a Critic
What does it say about me that I have seen a good forty percent of the
100 worst movies of all time? My list would defiantly be different. Where's
Hook,
Thin Red Line , (the two longest movies of all time) or either of the new Star Wars movies? People act like Spielberg and Lucas are heroes; they have made some of the most unwatchable crap. The only interesting one of the Star Wars films,
Empire Strikes Back wasn't written or directed by Lucas. And Spielberg, damn, keep your little boy from this guy. Am I the only one who noticed the pedo-creepy " Dress me." scene in AI, or The scene in Hook where Robin Williams disrobes Ruffio With a knife?! By the way, I like B-Movies as much or more than your average geek, but Peter Jackson did nothing watchable except for the LOTR trilogy, and the prequel,
Forgotten Silver.
This is only 3 min into Thin Red Line
(0) comments
August 14, 2003
(0) comments
Is it the car or driver?
Have you noticed that any time you have a car on your butt for twenty miles, and you obviously can't get over, or you get cutoff on the freeway, or you see someone switch two lanes four times in fifteen seconds, they are driving a Mustang. Is there a IMA Jerk Test to take to buy those? I am suprised that Mustangs do not come stock with a whistle tip installed, because it seem like they want to make it on everyone's S List. This is what to watch out for next year:
(0) comments
August 12, 2003
Brothers and Sisters
Me, see, smaller and grainier is slimming.
My sister Amy taken from an AM/PM survailence camera.
My brother dave with a baby sized goiter on his neck, just kidding he's a daddy three times over.
Mark would rather pose than fight that damn raging fire behind him.
Sister Tanya is too cool for school, that's why she doesn't go.
I didn't agree with the war, but Darla,
we are proud to see you kick Iraq's ass and make it back in tact. (Say that five times fast.)
(0) comments
Reunited and it feels so good!
Some sweet people five blocks away noticed my signs and called me about my cat. She is back home, two pounds lighter! Poor kitty. Lots of TLC and
IAMS should get he back to the tubby brat we used to know.
(0) comments
1got H4x0r3d
Darn you ryan10811! Why? He has it so I cannot go into registry editor, or task manager, and any time I connect to the intardnet, it shuts down my PC. I would reblast, but can't find my disks!! He must not win! All my PC are not belong to you, make your time!
(0) comments
August 11, 2003
It's more a rectangle than a circle
Do Invertebrates have a
level of hell? This
slug has been punished to his, maybe for sloth?
(0) comments
August 09, 2003
*falls to knees, shaking fists at the sky*WHY?!
Stasi and I went to our friend's funeral service today. I couldn't help but think that almost everyone I know that died early, (before 70), had a daily relationship with the same God I belive in, were giving, loving, kind people. Why would God take them from us? Then I remembered a conversation I had with a friend that is somewhat if an Athiest, or believes that God started this whole thing, like plugging in huge elaborate Christmas lights, and then just walking away. He had brought up the fact that mabee men reflect their human father into the God they believe. His had left before he knew him, hence his beliefs. I believe in the selfish God. The God who surrounds himself with people who praise him, weither it hurts his children or not. The selfish God who hands out true moments of joy so sparsely, it seems becomes a marracle when it happens. It bugs the crap out of me when good things are taken from us without valid explination. Stasi's family. My grandfather. Logan. My cat. Taxes.
(0) comments
August 08, 2003
In Monkey Related News
Will monkeys take my job? not as long as it is a
phone job. Though the monkeys
will win with
hillarity and
hijinks.
(0) comments
August 07, 2003
Space, The final frontier
It is odd how I feel no empathy to news events that relate to people on the news, yet, put something happening
hundreds of thousands of miles away in the news, and I get all exited. Some day my mother-ship will pick me up and take me to the
funkadellic party in the stars. (I dedicate this posting to my mother, who says that my site isn't "out there" as she would have expected.)
(0) comments
August 06, 2003
This so rocks!
What is up
mang? I talk
hella janky? I'm not alone!
(0) comments
August 05, 2003
Do the time warp again?
The future has been portrayed many a way on the large and small screen, is this The Future we want? Join me in weighing our options.
(0) comments
Pros
1. People's lives can be bought and sold with ice cubes
2. Women are kept scantily clad in cages by giant monkeys
3. Flying cars are kept aloft by shooting doughnut clouds
4. Sassy subservient robots wisecrack while doing our every bidding
5. Sports include bigger sideburns and more gruesome death
6. Vests made from steel belted radials, and mute killer-kid sidekicks
7. Solution found for energy crisis caused by fallout
(0) comments
Cons
1. Space Herpes
2. Men kept scantily clad in cages by giant monkeys
3. Humans still have to push buttons to keep computers doing our work, with bosses riding us like ponies
4. Sassy robots require cogs, or sprockets leading to slave labor by leading competitors
5. Sports are just as rigged and ran by power mongers as now
6. "We don't need another Hero"
7. We have to rely on Keanu Reeves to be our savior... "Uh ...like... Station!"
8. Chrome skeletons will step on our laser blasted skulls
Well, looks like there are more cons than pros, so you Morloks get back to work or no Eloi for you.
(0) comments
August 04, 2003
CRISIS!!
Will monkeys be as funny, or life as delicious
WITHOUT BANANNAS! Were going to find out. Try to explain to your children what that yellow thing Bugs Bunny is tripping people up on ten years from now. I am going to cry.
(0) comments
As Promised
These sculptures are made of
sand. I put them on the Internet using my computer. My computer is made of glass and silicon. Glass and silicon are made of sand.
Cyclical.
Palindromic.
(0) comments
August 01, 2003
*sigh*
I am proofing my flyers for my lost cat right now. We recieved news that our friend Logan lost his fight with lymphoma and passed away last night at the age of 20. I'll try hard to come up with witty funny thing, well,
only this hard.
(0) comments
