August 09, 2003

*falls to knees, shaking fists at the sky*WHY?!

Stasi and I went to our friend's funeral service today. I couldn't help but think that almost everyone I know that died early, (before 70), had a daily relationship with the same God I belive in, were giving, loving, kind people. Why would God take them from us? Then I remembered a conversation I had with a friend that is somewhat if an Athiest, or believes that God started this whole thing, like plugging in huge elaborate Christmas lights, and then just walking away. He had brought up the fact that mabee men reflect their human father into the God they believe. His had left before he knew him, hence his beliefs. I believe in the selfish God. The God who surrounds himself with people who praise him, weither it hurts his children or not. The selfish God who hands out true moments of joy so sparsely, it seems becomes a marracle when it happens. It bugs the crap out of me when good things are taken from us without valid explination. Stasi's family. My grandfather. Logan. My cat. Taxes.