June 29, 2004

where the heck is the INTERROBANG key?!

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June 26, 2004

Good ole random images

This internet citizen has written code that pulls the last 30 posted images from livejournal. Though the photos are not always work safe, there is almost always a gem in each batch. Here are some nice ones.

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June 24, 2004

Punishment.

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

There was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict." His order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?" The waiter sings,"O, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what? A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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We can build em' faster.. stronger.. BETTER!

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June 17, 2004

These are a few of my favorite things.

I decided to stop being selfish and share some of the blogcetera I visit on a regular basis. Please visit my linkies on the left hand side.These people work hard on their blogs, and truly do diserve some readership. Coming soon... adding a new homie as my friend Devin has started his own blog.

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June 11, 2004

Gorillas:2 Superheros: 0

Now everyone knows that Robin is batman's houseboy, but look at him playing the "Penelope"-damsel-in-distress role here. Is flash trying to power-walk his way out of danger?

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June 08, 2004

My cat doesn't like me dancing.

What good is a web log without useless tidbits of info on the Blog owner. The other day I found out it upsets my cat terribly when I dance. She first gives me this irritated look, putting her ears down, then she leaves the room. She will peek back in periodically to see if I am done. If I am not, she gives me this disgusted look and sulks away.

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June 04, 2004

Unfortunately, sometimes there is punishment for unpopular ideas, even if there is truth to them.

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some people will do anything for the crunchy goodness...

...Of Planter's Peanuts.

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June 02, 2004

You 'Otter' check this out!

Do you need a up to the minute fix of cute sea mammals doing cute human things with their front paws? Or perhaps you need to see the wonder of back lying buoyancy. The Monterey Bay Aquarium trys to meet your needs with a 12 hour live otter webcam every day. They turn it off at 7 because that is when the perform their Severe Otter Cattleprod "Training", and their squeals of pain nauseate squeamish viewers. Or those are just the hours of operation.

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Hey, hows it going....

Is the frist thing I say to you... How's it going, you flowing? So, long time no posty, please take a moment to veiw the wonderful art of Freddy, with a 'Y' by clicking on the egg.

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It came to him in a dream

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