January 29, 2004

Physicaly impossible

How are you supposed to sing the 80's rock ballad 'Don't Close Your Eyes' with the heart-felt passion it requires without actualy closing your eyes?

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January 28, 2004

you got some shiny crome in my monkeys will win

You got some monkeys will win in my shiny crome, two great tastes that taste great together. For more of this mix-matcha, use the mixmaster!

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January 27, 2004

Hot blooded, check it an see.

BWAAR! I AM A SKARY DONOSAR - MONSTAR! This comic shows that clip-art is funny, and educational.

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Adolfo, this one's for you!

"Some people are so afraid of cats that they can't even read about them. You silly people! How can you resist the darling slits of their greenish, alien eyes? How can you deprive yourselves of the incessant kneading of their razor-sharp, blood-drawing claws? How can you turn away from the unearthly throb of the purr exuding from deep within their soulless, carnivorous little bodies? They're gentle friends until the day they suffocate you in your sleep."
Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg

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January 26, 2004

I have to call my 20's 'Williams' because I never know them long enough to call them 'Bills'.

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January 24, 2004

"I'm only 5 years old!" Tran

Art is cool as Christopher Ryniak show us on this page. What is also cool is animation, as it is art set in motion through trickery. Trickery is pretty cool too as Bam Margera will show you on MTV using his family as test subjects. Unfortunately, MTV is no longer cool.

January 22, 2004

Go get em' tiger.

It always warms the heart to read a story of monkey escape. Also In the news there was a rumor of a tumor remover almost the size of one of us. What a huge weight off this lady's shoulders.

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January 19, 2004

A letter from the management

It has been a half a year since I started this site, and I give myself mixed reviews. When I first started this weblog, I wrenched my hands in anticipation as I pictured writing paragraph long doggone funny quips and obsevations, expected strangers and friends alike to wait with baited breath for me to make them spill milk from their nostrils, and make the porcelain sad clown face when there were no updates. Needless to say, my funny has been consistent as oatmeal microwaved with milk 2 minutes on high, and not stirred. Like oatmeal, weblogs are better with a lump of brown sugar, so I break up this rant with this honey:


Looks like she was shot through the heart and your'e to blame

So, other than being a little bit taller and a bawler, I also wish that my site make someone smile every once and a while. I will try my darnest to deliver. This next year should be blog eventful, as I will be purchasing a domain name, web space, maybe adding a place to purchase funny t shirts and having a little help from my friends. If you enjoy visiting this site, maybe you know someone else that would too, pass on the URL.

January 12, 2004

Do you know why the stone donkey is sad?

Because it has been over a year since he's been passed around like a two bit whore. That is the only way we can satisfy him and turn that frown upside down. Confimation on the White elephant Gift exchange is it is being held at Chevys in Elk Grove at 6pm on Saturday the 17th of January.

CHEVYS FRESH MEX RESTAURANT
7401 LAGUNA BLVD, ELK GROVE, CA 95758
Phone: (916) 691-3400

Snake a snake, oh it's a snake!

Not a good way to shed those extra holiday pounds!

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saving the gay baby whales

Ah, blessed irony! Driving Off-road vehicles in Japan, preaching about being one with nature on their oversized spare tire covers!

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January 08, 2004

Have you seen these kids?

That reminds me, anyone seen Village of the Damned? I found this picture outside the State Fair this year, some of you were with me. Are they Stepford childen, doctored greys, victims of prosac, or doped up on goofballs? I belive they can peer through the camera lens into your very soul. On a scale of 1-10, they score a 'C' for being creepy.

January 06, 2004

the bench states Chandelier now has the floor

Hundreds of glass fragments litter the floor of the Missouri Senate chamber after this 600-pound chandelier plunged 50 feet as it was being moved this morning. The falling light crushed an 85-year-old mahogany bench used by pages during the session.

January 05, 2004

I am on pins and needles to find out what the white elephant will bring me

Our yearly time to trade the cream of the crap is coming up. Stasi is going to see if next weekend is good for everyone involved, and I also overheard her tell someone on the phone Stockton is the location, prolly El Toritos or Xo-mix-hit-uikas. Let me know if this conflicts with any plans anyone has.


Maybe I will get a Guy Pierce movie.