July 13, 2003

When I Ask, People Just Shrub their Sholders

What is the effin' deal with bushes? We have our fair share of them around our new place, and I loath them, so I started looking at other houses for inspiration on what to do without bushes, and nobody doesn't have these earwig-nests. Most bushes are hideous. The ones that aren't took fifteen years of meticulous attention applied liberally. If my parents spent their weekends for fifteen years disciplining me every time I was out of line, I woulda turned square too. I refuse to spend that much time and effort on a retarded wannabe tree. And why are they there? Some people are trying to cover up their ugly houses. For these people... unless you are mating the two, two uglies to not make a cute. Another answer is that they are put below windows to keep out the burglar. Let me give you a little insight on this. He is a crazy doped-up glue sniffer. Look at what the guy is after. He thinks that stealing your VCR, (Yes, the one that was worth ninety five years ago, and paid sixty because it was missing the plate that covered the buttons.) and selling it to a pawn shop will ease all his worries. Do you seriously think that the thought that some rustling might roust your neighbors and cause them to call the police ever passed through his abused brain? No. I am going to go on a bush slaughter when given the chance. Stupid bushes.